need to vent

need to vent

TW: dysphoria, slight mention of suicide/self-harm


i've been struggling with gender more than ever in the last few months. before i started questioning i already felt uncomfortable a lot and shit, but now that i know exactly whats wrong its become worse than ever. in the language i speak, i have to misgender myself constantly. i was going to come out before december but i was too afraid. i cant concentrate at all, because its just bothering me so incredibly much. its interfering with everything, and its hard to stay strong and shit. i cant focus on anything else and i can barely properly do schoolwork anymore. its making my head ache and i've had to do everything to keep myself from self harming. i keep getting intrusive thoughts, and yet i still feel like im not valid enough because im still questioning. i don't know what to do. im honestly so scared. i don't feel like i'm strong enough to do this. at school i came out to 1 person, who turned out to be a tucute and genderfluid. they keep misgendering me and its so painful. they only seem to try to use my preferred name when they're trying to gain something from me. i've asked them not to call me 'gurl' and 'bitch' but they didn't. i just generally feel shitty i guess.

your local gayboy mcfuck, aka the biggest bottom to roam this cursed earth

Re: need to vent

i also want to go by a different name than the one i initially chose, but im scared of telling my friends since im not sure on Lucas either and i dont want to change it 'too many' times so im just feeling like shit 

your local gayboy mcfuck, aka the biggest bottom to roam this cursed earth

Re: need to vent

for the name part, try it online before you make your decision.
there's an app called vent and i'm in two groups: LGBT+ Chat and Transguys Chat, something like that. if a person wants to have others call them by a name they're unsure of, they just make a post and a couple of people comment things like "Hi x! I'm doing great! How about you!; What's up, x? How's your day going?" or even with pronouns like "I know x! He/she/they are really cool!; X is a really cool guy/girl/person. I love his/hers/their posts!"
For the most part, it's a really kind community. There's a lot of tucutes but there are rules against posting discourse in the chat so everything's usually calm. 

It's his Dema Dick.

Re: need to vent

Yeah. thanks! I'm doing that here w the name Lucas rn, to see how it is casually, I'll try that out tho :)

your local gayboy mcfuck, aka the biggest bottom to roam this cursed earth

Re: need to vent

hey, you're valid, and i know you can get there someday. it may take effort, but i know you can do it. i believe in u! don't give up hope! <3