TransmedMilo`s Blog

When i was in 7th grade i found out what transgender was. I had a moment to myself where i decided i could be that. But i was terrified and i pushed it deep down and decided i was just a butch lesbian, i was outted to my school in a girls locker room as gay. In 8th grade i hit rock bottom and i had a really hard time, i came out to my dad and my mom found out, i hated myself and even thought i was identifying as gay i was in a pastel phase. In 9th grade i couldnt ignore my feelings anymore and i started seriously thinking about being trans and what that meant. I told one of my closest friends and they gave me the courage to cut my hair. I came out to a large group of friends but i was scared and took it all back, telling everyone i was a girl and that i was just confused. Now as a sophomore, only some of my friends know, i go by Milo to those people and it is seen as a nickname, and i told my mom on Thursday. (my blog post about gender counseling goes a bit more into that.) Im trying to work through my issues and im trying to move forward with my family. 

So I half came out to my mom as FtM on an impulse decision last Thursday.... Shes accepting but she thinks its come out of nowhere, for me it hasnt but i understand where shes coming from. I had one of those hellish ultra femme phases and even thought its been two years it still comes up. I told my mom i was confused and scared ( because i am ) but for the most part im pretty sure im trans. My dad doesnt want me to make any drastic decisions as a 15 year old, which once again, I completely understand but its still really hard. I told my mom i wanted to go into counseling so they can diagnose me with gender dysphoria but my parents are ignoring it. my dad hasnt said a single word to me about it. My dad is extremely accepting but i know he loves having a daughter. My dead name is super unique and I know hes just upset im not his little girl. Im thinking of having a chat with them tomorrow but im not sure.